Death of a Mother

When the tears won't stop falling, and the pain keeps on growing...

Don't know how much more I can take, not knowing. 

If ever a day comes when I can take no more, let it be known it was caused by the courts. 

My mother and sister stole my children away, I can't hear their laughter, their voices or play. 

The days are growing darker, the time soon will change. 

The holidays are looming and haunting my brain. 

I've made phone calls and emails, calls texts and unending pleas.

I get no responses, no regards for our needs. 

We've missed almost a year, the worst of my fears fall in cascades around me.

Don't wanna keep on with all the pain and these tears that well up inside me.

To my children, I love you! I'm sorry I'm not strong. It's obvious you're doing well, and each day will go on. 

I can't live without you.

I can't stand this pain. 

No matter how hard we've strived, there's been zero gain. 

We've paid money, lost it all, written letters and made numerous calls. 

They say there is nothing they will do for us at all. 

I've written many things, it's all over the web. 

I hope the legacy I've created will be enough when I am dead. 

My heart it is simple, but too large and too deep. It calls for me to go now, one last and final sleep. 

Never doubt my love for you, every breath has been for you. I'm sorry I have failed each of you, too early in your youth. 

Please break the ties that bind you to the evilness of her generation. Else you'll be caught too in this epic self centered relation. 

Your grandmother Laverne did the same to her daughter Glenda so many years ago. Zorra Rainer can tell you so much more than I know. 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 

I know it's not enough. But I just can't take the heartache of remaining so tough. 

Stephen, I'm so proud of the man you've become! Please tell your brother and sister and yourself that everything I am that is anything good is all because of the three of you! 

Because of my love for you, I promise to live on. I don't know how I'll do it, but I've lasted this long! 

Someday when you escape or when they release you, please come look for me. I'll be some where surrounded by the tallest of pine trees. There'll be flowing water and wildlife and mountains galore. There at the bottom of the tallest pine floor, don't be afraid, don't worry, please knock on my door. I'll open it wide and welcome you home like never before.